(I admit this is overkill. I’m going to deal with that situation any day now. Or maybe the three of them will rumble some night. Three men enter, one man leaves, if you take my meaning.)

That’s why my cupboard and drawer habits are so puzzling. R recently noted, with admirable good humor, that whenever I leave the kitchen, every hinged door or rolling drawer I opened stays open. Same with the dresser drawers in the bedroom.

I was kind of surprised. My perception is that I’m always tidying up - collecting used glasses from the coffee table, hanging the bathmat, closing the shower curtain - as I move around the apartment. The reality appears to be that I am also leaving behind a chaos of open cereal boxes, left-out butter, Splenda packets, and small spoons.

Why do I do that? It’s weird, right? For someone as tidy-oriented as me, right?

It was a casual question last week, a little passing, “Ha, ha! Isn’t that surprising? Aren’t I quirky?” but this week, since I can’t find a ready answer, it’s starting to really bother me. Why would someone who invariably makes the bed, who straightens the couch pillows every morning on the way through the living room, and who is always lining up the remote controls, why would she leave the kitchen looking like the poltergeist had just taken its revenge? Is it a “leave my mark” thing, like peeing the perimeter or carving my name in a tree? Is it subconscious rebellion? Is it make-work? I am the one who usually, eventually, circles back through and closes everything up again… What the hell is going on?

I’m going to come up with a theory this week. It’s going to be good. It’s going to have a lot of psychological complexity, sub-points and moving parts. That or it’s going to be insane. Like that I’m trying to make sure the invisible beasties that live in our cupboards get enough air and a chance to exercise before I close them back in. Not that I think beasties exist. Of course I don’t. That would be deranged.