Who has a Wii Fit out there? Raise your hand. Yeah, I thought so. I have a question for you.

You know how, when you first set it up, you have to get on the platform and it asks for your birthdate and it checks your weight and then it makes you do all those balance tests and after, like, 20 minutes, it tells you your “Wii Fit age”? ‘Member that? So here’s the thing: without telling specific secrets, R’s “age” was 15 years older than his actual age, even though he’s not overweight and has pretty good balance (by which I mean I’ve never seen him fall over spontaneously). From what I hear, that’s how the Fit rolls though. I get that: motivate your audience. Get ‘em Wii Fitting like crazy.

Here’s what I don’t get: some kid’s “age” was 19. Is that good, if you’re 8? Is that a compliment, like a 19-year-old is in prime condition? Or does that mean that the 8-year-old is already in decline??

Also, and this is that question I was gonna ask, what happens on your birthday? See, I finally ran the gauntlet and sorted out my “age” about a week ago. Guess what it was. No, seriously: guess. Come ooooonnn. That’s right, cats and kittens: I am “37”. Given that I am also actually 37, I’m pretty impressed with myself.

But if your Wii Fit age stays where it is, even when you pass a birthday, I am getting set to be seriously psyched in March ‘cause then I’ll be 38 and still “37”. How sweet is that?

So what’s the word? Will my “age” hold even if my age doesn’t? I’m guessing yeah, ‘cause my living room slalom skills sure aren’t getting worse, suckahs.